Benjamin Jack
by the child with no name
Summary: What if there was more to Mulder than just The X-Files? What if there was a part of his past unknown to everyone except Scully and Skinner? What will happen when someone else finds out? Takes place during beginning of fifth season, when Scully has cancer.
1. Chapter 1: The Hallway

Author's Note: Okay, I don't own any of The X-Files characters, they came from the dpths of Chris Carter's mind, although I do own Ben. So, no that you know that I'm not trying to steal Chris Carter's glory, read the story and maybe you'll even like it.

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"Sir, are you familiar with the term Ketoacidosis?" The doctor asked, not a good question to pose to the man in front of him. The man's eyes were swollen from lack of sleep and from the occasional tear that spilled out when he was given the look that read "no hope." He's seen it too many times. 

"God, I've already had this talk! Of course I know what Ketoacidosis is, my wife died from Ketoacidosis, right in front of my eyes. Wait, wait, are you, no, we've had him tested! We've had him tested every goddamn year! He can't, no, he, can't."

"I'm sorry Mr. Mulder." The doctor walked away from the man, whose eyes filled with tears as he sunk down to the floor, not knowing who was watching, not knowing who's mind was making all of the connection, who knew why they said he lived at the hospital these days, it wasn't just because of Dana anymore.

As the doctor walked away the man looked into through the hospital room and saw his son lying there, wires attached to him, keeping him alive. The man walked into the room and sat beside his son and held the little boy's weak hand. As his father shook with sobs, the little boy tried to speak, but he was paralyzed, trapped in his own mind and he wanted to cry too when his father simply said, "I'm sorry Ben, I'm so sorry I failed you."

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Author's Note (I know, I'll levae you alone soon): Please review and tell me if I should keep going or not. I'm trying to figure out Chapter 2 at the moment and if it is pointless, tell me and I will go back to reading fanfictions as opposed to writing them. Be as cruel as you would like, I just want honest coments.  
Thanks, the child with no name 


	2. Chapter 2: The Little Boy

Bill Scully watched as Fox Mulder entered his sister's room. It was his sister's deathbed really. _How could that imbecile even get the nerve to come here? Why can't he just stop tormenting Dana?_ Bill was able to see Mulder in his younger sister's room, sitting on her bed, holding her hand, and it sickened him. He had to get away; he had to blow off some steam.

"Fucking Fox Mulder and his fucking conspiracy theories," Bill muttered to himself as he walked steadily down the hallway, looking as if he could either break into a run or just rip an old lady out of her wheelchair. Bill was always a somewhat violent kid, but never cruel. With the recent events, he had begun to understand how a man could beat another human being to a pulp with a smile on his face.

Before long, Bill found himself in the Children's Hospital. He hadn't been paying attention to where he was going and he found himself stopped in front of an open door, peering in at a little boy who lay unconscious on the bed. The boy was as pale as snow and his breathing was steady. It was almost like passing a car wreck; Bill found that he couldn't take his eyes away from the little boy. The weak little boy with a feeding tube down his throat and IVs all over his arms turned Bill into a pensive state. That could be his kid in there. What would he do if his child was ever like that?

Bill found himself walking into the little boy's room and sitting in a chair placed in a corner. He stared at the boy, tears threatening to break through his tough and masculine exterior. Bill never cried, but there was something about this little boy that was bringing him to tears. He didn't understand it, but a tear slid down his cheek nonetheless.

"Sir?" Bill looked up to find a female nurse standing in the doorway and Bill quickly wiped his tear away and looked up at the nurse. "Sorry, Sir, but are you family?"

"Yeah, sorry, no, I'm not, so I'm going to be going now. I'm very sorry to disturb you." With that, Bill hastily got up and walked out of the door. He didn't understand why that little boy had affected him so deeply. There was just something about the kid's face that formed a lump in Bill's throat. Most people would say that it was the innocence, but somehow, Bill saw farther into it than that. He felt the little boy's pain and he felt the pain that the child's father must feel. He felt that agony seeping through him until he couldn't handle it anymore and salty tears had fallen out of his sad eyes.

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Please read and review! I'm dying for feedback. Here's a little shout out to IFSci-Fi for my one review. I really do appreciate any feedback at all guys.  
Thanks, the child with no name 


	3. Chapter 3: The Room

Lookee Lookee, I updated! Anyway, please Read and Review and I hope you like it, well, to some extent at least. Sorry the last two were so short, I'm trying to make them longer, so hopefully this one doesn't suck.

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Fox Mulder walked precariously in the hallways of the hospital. He was on his way to see his partner. He had his hand down at his side, as if he was trying to hold onto something; something that was out of reach, usually there, but not today. He stared at the floor, a habit he had recently started practicing more often. Everything was his fault, everything. Everyone he cared about was in pain because of him. The worst part about it was that he couldn't find a way to help either of them. He had to stand idly by as the tragedies unfolded themselves.

When Mulder had reached Dana Scully's hospital room, he peered in before he entered; he didn't want any unexpected visitors while he was there, A.K.A. Bill Scully. He didn't want another confrontation that would make him feel more worthless than he already was.

"Hey Scully," Mulder said as he plastered a smile on his face and sat next to his sickly pale friend on her hospital bed. He couldn't help but get lost in her eyes; they were losing the life they once had, just like Ben's. It made him sad, to see her life slipping away, but what could he do? He caused all of this and he had no idea how to pick up all of the pieces and put them back together. It was too bad that he didn't know that she could get lost in his eyes too.

"What's wrong Mulder?" She asked with concern all over her face. He didn't even know why he had tried to hide it from her, there was no use, she could always look into his soul and put the shattered fragments back together.

"I ­– Ben's sick," Mulder looked down at the floor again, trying not to let her see all of the pain. He was stifling his sobs.

"What? What's wrong? Mulder, tell me what's wrong." She had worry in her voice and Mulder could hear the lump growing in her throat at the sound of his son's condition.

"I just – I just went to try and help you and I left him sleeping. I was gone too long and he couldn't find the insulin." Scully stroked his cheek, it was the only thing she could think of doing. "When I got back -" He couldn't hold in his tears any longer and they ran freely down his cheeks, all the way to his dry lips. "When I got back he was already passed out on the couch. He was mumbling something, but I couldn't hear him." Scully pulled Mulder's head onto her stomach and let him sob. She stroked his hair as he cried. His tears went straight through her hospital gown and it felt like they had pierced her heart. She didn't know his pain, but she felt it with every bone in her body. He sniffed and tried to wipe some of the tears away with his hand before he looked up at her face.

"What do I do Scully? I can't do this without him and the doctors don't know anything. They're trying to put more insulin in, but they don't know how much more they can do." Mulder and Scully looked into each other's eyes for a moment. They knew what was going to happen, they just weren't prepared. "He's only six years old Scully, my little boy, my little baby and he has Diabetes." Scully pulled Mulder's head to her shoulder and let him sob. There was nothing more she could do to ensure him that Ben was going to be okay. If she wasn't sick, she could have looked into his condition and maybe even found something to do. Neither of them could have guessed that the little boy in the diabetic coma down the hallway still had some power to fight.

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Thank you for reading and here are two shout outs (yes two, it's very exciting) to IFsci-fi and ElleThom for your reviews, I really do appreciate it.  
thanks, the child with no name 


	4. Chapter 4: The Awakening

Hey guys, I finally updated. Sorry this one took so long and the painful irony. After I read ElleThom's review, I knew that I could always update regularly. Well, we all know how that one worked out. Hey! and this chapter is actually substantial! There's a first. Okay, I'll stop bothering you know, I hope you like it.

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Sounds were rushing around the little boy as his eyes fluttered open. He found himself in a white, white room surrounded with machines constantly beeping. Then, all of a sudden, he felt like he was choking. He wheezed until he started screaming. He was dying, the little boy was suffocating and no one was coming. It felt like there was something shoved down his throat and someone was holding it to make sure it stayed there. 

Tears started to gush out of his small eyes as he cried for someone to come. He kept looking around to see if there was anyone coming, but everything was getting blurry, everything was slowly going black until he saw a man rush in with a nurse. He was a tall man with dark brown hair who held the little boy's hand as the tube was slowly removed from his throat.

"It's okay Ben, it's okay buddy, the tube is just there to help you, you're going to be okay bud, just stay with us Ben. You're going to be just fine." The man spoke in a soothing, but worried voice. Ben knew it was his father comforting him; his father was the one holding back tears as Ben felt his breath leaving him.

"Come on, bud, it's almost out, you're going to be just fine. Come on Ben, you're going to be okay." Mulder said as the tube finally made its way out of Ben's throat, but the tears kept falling from Ben's eyes as he held onto his father in a hug. His father was trying to stay strong for his son, but the tears were threatening his fragile lids.

"I was so scared Dad, I was so scared." Ben sobbed as Mulder stroked Ben's hair. The two pulled away from the hug and Ben and Mulder looked at each other as Mulder pushed the sweaty hair off of his son's forehead.

"It's okay now bud, you're just fine. I'm not going to let anything happen to you ever again. You're going to be just fine." Mulder's attempts to keep the tears in his watery eyes failed as the salty drops burst through his flaps of skin and ran down his face. He grasped his son once again and wondered how he could have down this to his own flesh.

"Why was there a tube down my throat Dad?" Ben asked as his sobs started to subside. Mulder's morose state came upon him so quickly that his stomach started to tremble as he stared into his son's querying eyes.

"I – You were in a coma Ben. You, uh, you just didn't have enough insulin and then the ketones just got way too high and…" Mulder stopped as his tears ran full speed down his face. He looked at the floor with an intensity that scared Ben as Mulder watched his tears puddle. "I'm so sorry buddy, I'm so sorry. I wasn't even thinking. I just went out and I thought you could take care of yourself and I didn't put the insulin out and I'm-" Mulder was cut off by his son's hand grasping his.

"Dad, it's not your fault, you were doing the best you could. You were trying to save Dana. No one can save the world Dad." Mulder looked up at Ben and took hold of his son. There was a silence that had to come with the moment. If they had started talking, Ben's words would have meant nothing, Mulder had to let the thoughts only a child was capable of speaking sink in. He could not believe those words yet, but he was slowly starting to know that Ben was wise beyond his years.

Mulder released his son from his grasp and looked at the pale little boy. "You know, speaking of Scully, I'm sure that she would love to see you." Ben's face lit up at the thought of this. He had never known his mother. As long as the little boy could remember, it had always just been him and his dad, and the thought of his only motherly figure wanting to see him pulled at his heart strings unconsciously.

"Really!"

"Of course bud, she's always happy to see you. Hey, who knows, maybe she'll even play poker with you." At this the two raised their eyebrows in unison, it was their father-son code of enjoyment. Although it was somewhat of an unconventional idea, at six, Ben was an excellent poker player. Mulder did want his son to play with some discretion, so instead of playing for money, they had always played for M&Ms.

"When can we go and see her? Is she feeling better now? Can we go and see her now! Please, please, please?" Mulder felt his fathering instinct kick in. His son needed to rest, but the pleading look on the little boy's face overtook Mulder. He had missed seeing his son smile and he could not turn the child down.

"Okay, okay, we'll go. But you have to promise me that you'll take a nap afterwards okay, I want you to get some rest, okay. If you don't get rest, you won't get better alright, and I want your health to be fully restored so you can run wild all day long."

"ALL RIGHT!" Ben triumphantly announced, but as his eyes shined, his face became pale once more. "Dad," Ben choked out and the smile that had become stationary on his face became invisible once more. Ben's breaths became shallow as he gasped. He was suffocating. Everything had slowed down. The world was going in slow motion around Mulder. He looked up and around and he started screaming. Why wasn't anyone coming? Why wasn't anyone coming to help him? Why wasn't anyone coming to save his son?

"Please! Please help me!" Mulder cried as the beeps on the heart monitor started to slow. Why was no one coming? "PLEASE! SOMEONE PLEASE COME! He's dying! Someone please come!" Mulder's words became slowed as two nurses and a doctor rushed into the room. Mulder never let go of Ben's hand as the women tried to start his son's heart; trying to save him as the world was falling apart.

"We've got a pulse," one of them said as Mulder looked up at the heart monitor as the reassuring 'beeps' had started again. They were maintaining their pace as Mulder stared at his son and the world faded away…

"_Hey Laura, where's Ben's bottle? I can't find it anywhere." Fox Mulder called out to his wife of two months. They had gotten married a month after their son had been born. They were in harmony. It was true love and baby makes three, nothing could ever break them down. _

"_Laura? Laura?" Mulder called as he put down the small baby he had been carrying in his arms. Mulder walked to the bathroom door, his wife was on the other side of the wooden plank taking a bath. "Laura, are you okay?" There was no answer. Mulder grabbed hold of the doorknob and twisted. It was locked; he was being forced away from his wife slowly by a piece of metal._

"_Laura! LAURA!" Mulder screamed as he tried desperately to open the sealed door. He started banging against it with all of his body weight. Mulder had never been very religious, but now he found himself praying to whatever God there was that would listen, that his wife was alright._

_Finally the door was ripped open, but it was not the sight that was desired, it was not what Fox Mulder had prayed for._

_Tears were forming in his shadowy eyes as he froze. He could only see the top of his wife's head. This is not happening. This is not happening._

_Mulder rushed over to his wife's side and lifted her out of the bathtub. He lay her head down between his bent knees and stroked her sopping hair and prayed for her pale face to come alive, to flush with feeling again, but no matter how many times he recited "I Love You, please just don't go," her eyes would not open and her mouth would curve up on either side, telling him that everything would be alright. _

"_No, no, no, no," Mulder softly spewed as he rocked his wife back and forth, never loosening his grip on her cold body._

The sounds of a deep, but feminine "Mr. Mulder?" brought Mulder out of his nightmare only to present him with another one.

"Mr. Mulder, your son seems to be suffering from a rare Respiratory disease that is not allowing his lungs and diaphragm to work correctly. The diaphragm contracts so you can breathe in and relaxes, and therefore expands, when you let out a breath. In your son's case, the diaphragm is malfunctioning. It is expanding to twice its size and is constantly putting pressure on the lungs." Mulder looked at the dark woman who stood in front of him. Her white coat made him feel like it was so many years ago. The white coat stuck out and it followed his every thought. He remembered visiting Laura when she had her first brush with death. She was a diabetic like her son and she had stopped taking her medication.

After the hearse had arrived and taken her away a year after the first incident, he had looked in the cabinet above the bathroom sink. She had not taken her medication for three weeks. Her cause of death was determined as Ketoacidosis, but Mulder knew that was only half of the story. The other half was misery and the cuts in her wrists proved it.

"Because your son is so young, if this malfunction does not correct itself then he may have this problem for the rest of his life. To ensure his future safety and well-being, we will have to perform an operation to fix this." Mulder stared at the woman and wondered why this was happening again. Why was it the same white coat it always was? Why couldn't everyone be just fine? "So, feel free to stay with your son and I'll come in later and bring you some forms to sign, stating surgery specifications."

"Thank you," Mulder was even amazed that the words had made their way out of his mouth. It was almost a miracle, but there would be no other miracles. Mulder looked at his son and reached for the little boy's hand. It was warm.

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Alright, thank you for making it all of the way through this, I am very proud of you, and I hope you liked it. If you thought it sucked, tell me what I can change and we'll all be happy and we'll dance around listening to Marilyn Manson...anyway... I did have to change the rating because of the suicide, if no one guessed, so if someone if offended by that switch, then I'm going to guess that you can send me hate mail. Yay! Hate Mail! Anyway, here are some shout outs to the people who reviewed (there are more than ever this time!):   
ElleThom: Sorry this one took so long and I hope that I didn't let you down.  
LunarMoon98: Here's your update and please don't cry. If anything will make you cry, it will be this chapter, so I apologize for the Kleenex used while reading, although I don't think it will be that bad.  
Kitty-kat-101: I posted, so will you review more?  
IFsci-fi: My forever faithful updater, I hope that you like this one so that we can continue our somewhat long-standing update/review relationship.hehe  
Anway, I'm stopping, I'm just a little happy right now. But thank you all again for reading and updating, I love your feedback.  
thanks, the child with no name  



	5. Chapter 5: The Revelation

_So, I don't really have an excuse for this other than that I got swept up with work and I couldn't get inspired to write until now. I've actually been writing this chapter for a year, which probably won't show when you read it, but no matter. I am sorry to all of the readers who actually followed the story, it was not my intention to screw up so royally and let you all down. I'm not sure if this will be the end of the story, but I think I'll at least do another chapter. I'm sorry again and I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Thanks for reading,  
the child with no name_

Fox Mulder walked through the halls of D.C. Memorial Hospital with a bag of M&Ms and a deck of cards in one hand and a fresh bouquet of flowers in the other. He had a smile planted on his face as he greeted the nurses and headed towards his son's room.

It had been two days since the surgery and Ben was going to be okay. The little boy that held the key to his spirit was going to be okay. Irony spoils everything, though, doesn't it? No one knew what to do about Scully's cancer. He couldn't stop it. His son was going to survive and his soul mate would suffer until the end.

Mulder strolled through the eerie white hallways. He had always hated hospitals; they kept too many dark memories deep beneath their fake white surfaces. Those dark memories sprung to life as he reached his son's room only to find an empty bed. He was lifting his wife out of the water again, he was trying to save her when it was already too late. Mulder dropped his collection of gifts on the floor and started running. His mind was screaming as he frantically flew through those eerie hallways yelling the name of his little boy as his legs propelled him.

"Where's the boy in 208? He's not in his bed, where is he?" Mulder cried to a blank faced receptionist who was still attached to a woman's constipated voice through the phone receiver. "Please! Please help me." The woman once again looked upon him, but this time there was only confusion; no answers, only questions.

Mulder started his dash again and sped up as he ran aimlessly past the Children's Hospital and into the regular care area. He didn't notice where he was, he was just running, trying to beat the tears that were about to spring from his eyes when he heard a familiar voice.

"I hope you don't have to have surgery. My surgery wasn't so bad, but it still hurts from where the doctors were working." A small voice that carried an extraordinary amount of power, unbeknownst to its owner, said.

"I don't know if I'll need surgery Ben, but I'm just gla-" Dana Scully looked up as her partner bolted into her hospital room, his face flushed with relief overpowering the still visible panic. Mulder ran to his son and picked up the fragile little boy.

"Oh God Ben, I though something had happened to you." Mulder spoke as a few tears slowly ran out of his eyes and onto Ben's pajama shirt, which was being held tightly against Mulder's face in a hug. Both of them pulled away and Mulder looked into his son's hazel eyes and found the safety of his son's existence.

"Dad, dad, don't worry so much. I was just visiting Dana and having a talk about the ups and downs of surgery." All three of them smiled and Mulder looked up as Scully, smile still on his face.

"Yes, Ben has become quite the expert in the surgery department, not to mention anything and everything having to do with scars." Scully said with a grin on her face. Mulder knew that she had always loved Ben, she was really the only mother he had ever had, Mulder only wished she had been his mother.

"Look dad!" Ben pulled up his pajama shirt to show his father his incision. The look on the little boy's face was priceless, the pure excitement; he was showing off his battle scars to his hero.

Mulder and Scully both laughed at the child's antics and Mulder pulled Ben's shirt back down. Sitting down and picking his son up to place the little boy on his lap, Mulder settled himself down in his partner's hospital room.

"Well, I would have M&Ms for poker, but they-" Mulder started, but was soon interrupted by the boy perched on his lap.

"Were stolen by a pack of rabid dogs who only had cravings for small pieces of chocolate candy!" Ben said with a certain sarcastic enthusiasm. Ben had a flair for the extraordinary, which was only obvious when one looked at his father, but Ben was also a little cynical. Growing up with just his father, he had learned early that the two needed each other, no matter what happened.

Mulder and Scully both laughed at the small boy, but their jubilance ran short when a tall figure walked through the door and stood staring with his mouth wide open, and his whole body frozen in place.

"Oh hi Bill." Scully said nervously. Her older brother and her partner were not the best friends in the world and Scully was bracing herself for a fight.

"You, you," Bill couldn't think of anything to say. _What is that little boy doing in here, on that man's lap? No._

"Um, Bill, this is Ben, he's Mulder's son,. Ben, this is my brother Bill." Scully said as her gaze traveled from Mulder and Ben to Bill, who still stood erect in the doorway.

"Hi Bill! That's my grandpa's name too, did you know that? Do you want to see where the doctor operated on me? I was having trouble breathing so the doctors told daddy that they had to go inside of my chest and fix me." Ben was once again beaming with pride, but his father's hand caught Ben's as Ben started to lift his pajama shirt up to show the visitor his chest. Mulder looked over at Scully before he spoke, her eyes reflecting what he was thinking. Ben didn't need to see Bill and Mulder fight, the little boy had been through enough already, the degradation of his father in front of him would be going too far.

"Well, I think we should leave Dana alone with Bill, what do you think buddy?"

"But I want to show Bill my chest!" The boy looked at his father with pleading eyes.

"I don't think Bill wants to see you chest right now Ben," Mulder said cautiously as Bill eyed him. "How about you can show him later? We can leave Bill and Dana alone and we can go and look for the M&Ms that the rabid dogs tried to eat." Mulder had to break out in a smile as he said this, Scully too, because Ben's face lit up. They didn't know if he was genuinely happy at the prospect or if he was pretending for Mulder's sake. Ben was looking around the room, he could see the look in everyone's eyes, he could feel their pleading in the air brushing past his face.

"Okay Dad, but if we find those rabid dogs, can we keep them? I want a dog real bad, so I think we should take the dogs and, and, and make them sit and stay and shake." Ben said this with an ever-broadening smile on his face.

"Alright my little dog trainer, let's go look for the dogs." Mulder replied as he gave Scully a nervous glance before grabbing tightly to Ben's hand and walking from the room with Bill's eyes following them out.

Once the little life of the party had left, the entire room fell silent. Bill just stood staring at the back of his arch nemesis and the little head of the boy who had broken his heart. It was confusing of course, first of all that any woman would give Fox Mulder offspring and second of all that the obsessive and impulsive lunatic would even be able to take care of the child. _Why wouldn't Dana tell me about something like this? I could have – what could I have done?_

Somehow Bill was able to compose himself, after his minor lapse into his own world, and turn his head to Dana, though not without a very bewildered look on his face.

"Dana, h-" Bill stopped, wondering what he was supposed to ask her. Mulder had done nothing to hurt Dana, so what was Bill supposed to say? _I can't just let her think that I don't care about her, I have to ask her what's going on, I have to act like I'm angry, but what in God's name am I supposed to be angry about?_

"Look Bill," Dana started as Bill looked up from his frustrating thoughts regarding his next action, "I, I'm sorry that I never told you about Ben. I didn't know how to tell you, you'd rip Mulder apart for thinking that he could take care of a child." _That's it! That's what I'm angry about, but he looked like he could take care of the kid. That little boy looked so happy, no matter how pale his sickly face was. Damn it! Why can't I be angry at Mulder this time! _"He really is a wonderful father Bill, the two of them together are just, well, wonderful."

Whether or not the information was registering in Bill's head was a mystery to Scully. His blank stare left his thoughts up for interpretation by anyone who looked into his eyes. Finally, he was able to open his mouth and, much to his own surprise, real words came out.

"What happened to him?" Bill asked quietly. Scully seemed to take a breath and look sullenly at the floor before making eye contact with her brother again. Bill could have known it was serious even if he hadn't seen the little boy lying frailly in his hospital bed.

"The doctors are telling us that it's a rare Respiratory disorder, something about his diaphragm malfunctioning and preventing him from breathing correctly." Bill looked at her astonished. His blank stare had been replaced by confusion.

"But, I saw, I saw him, he was in a coma." Bill mumbled the words as they slipped out of his mouth.

"What? You saw him? You saw him before the surgery?" Scully was the perplexed sibling now as her voice rose and her eyebrow lifted quizzically.

"I, I was wandering around," Bill hesitated with shame covering his face. "I just saw him lying in his bed and-" Bill shuddered as tears started to form in his eyes; he quickly tried to gain control of himself, but did not succeed. He stared at the floor, hoping not to reveal his state as his shaky voice asked, "Why was he in a coma?"

At this point Scully was confused beyond belief, the fact that Bill was not furious was hard enough to swallow, but the fact that he was crying over Mulder's son was even more amazing. Scully was only able to answer him slowly. "Ben has Diabetes; he went into a coma due to Ketoacidosis. He, um, he didn't get his insulin when he needed it."

Bill was silent as he slowly shifted his gaze from the patterned linoleum on the floor to Scully's face, revealing tear stains. "Is he going to be okay?" Bill croaked the words passed the giant lump in his throat. Scully's own lip started to tremble when she saw the tears roll down Bill's face.

"Yeah, yeah, he's going to be okay."

"What about Mulder, will he be okay?" Scully inhaled sharply and started to cry at Bill's question, her joy falling down her face.

"Yeah, he'll be okay too."


End file.
